Over the past 7 months, Will and I have found ourselves sitting at home in front of the TV on most Friday nights. This is a huge departure from our lives prior to pregnancy. We’ve traded in Coors Light, late night Whataburger, and hangovers for reruns of Scrubs and Presidential debates. Yes, you heard right….We watched the debate last Friday. If something better was on TV, believe me, we would have been watching. But seeing as Obama and McCain took over EVERY SINGLE CHANNEL, we were forced to listen to them one-up each other who warned the House and Senate first on an issue and who has on the better bracelet given to them by a fallen soldier’s mother.
As soon as the debate ended, I received a phone call from Mrs. Republican of the Year:
Mrs ROY: Hey, did you just watch the debate?
Me: Yes, we actually did.
Mrs ROY: Okay, I need you to text in and vote that McCain won. I can’t text on my phone, so you need to text and vote. Can you text in?
Mrs ROY: So, what did you think?
Me: (Knowing that I was about to hear a loud scream on the other end of the line) I think Obama did better. He’s definitely a better public speaker.
Mrs ROY: WHHAAATTT???? Are you kidding me? You know better than to say that!
Me: Sorry, but I think he did a good job.
Mrs ROY: You CANNOT go to work tomorrow and tell everyone that Obama won!!!!
Me: First of all, tomorrow is Saturday, so I’m not going to work.
Mrs ROY: (laughing hysterically) That’s right! HAHAHA!! That is HIL-ARIOUS!
Me: Secondly, my friends and I don’t sit around and discuss politics at the office. We discuss more important things, like cute boys, where we went shopping over the weekend, and who we saw out downtown doing something completely inappropriate.
Mrs ROY: Anyway, you need to text Fox News and vote that McCain won…I can’t text on my phone so you need to text them right now.
Me: Why Fox news? Shouldn't we be texting into a station that isn't primarily Republican?
Mrs ROY: Well, what are you watching?
Mrs ROY: WHAATTT?? Why are you watching NBC? That station is LIBERAL!
Me: Calm down. In case you didn't notice, NBC showed the exact same debate that FOX showed.
Mrs ROY: Well, you need to text into FOX. You promise you’ll text them?
Me: YES! I’ll do it right now.
Mrs ROY: Okay, bye!
Less than 30 seconds later, the phone rings….
Mrs ROY: Hey, did you text? Did you text in your vote for McCain?
Me: YES LADY! I just texted.
Mrs ROY: Good. So, we went to lunch today on the square, and there were 2 lunch specials, the McCain and the Obama. Of course I ordered the McCain, but you know what I said?
Me: What did you say? I’m just dying to know.
Mrs. ROY: I said that the Obama sandwich should be a big sausage on a bun. GET IT? BULLSHIT ON A BUN?
Me: Uh, no…. I don’t get it. Mom, are you drunk?