Friday, January 30, 2009

Even dogs can embarrass.

Over the holidays, we took a roadtrip to visit family in Mississippi and Tennessee. Yep, a roadtrip. 12 hours each way. WITH A NEWBORN! While we were gone for 7 days, we had our dog sitter, Kay, keep the boys. She rarely has any issues, and if she does, she calls us immediately. While we were on the way back to Texas, I decided to give Kay a call to see how everything went since I hadn’t heard from her. After the following conversation took place, I have a whole new level of respect for her. And keep in mind that I had just had a baby. Weird things happen to your body.

Me: Hi Kay! Just checking on the boys. I hope everything went okay.

Kay: Everything was great! Well, except for one small incident.

Me: Uh oh. What happened?

Kay: Well….sweet little Jack got into the trash and made a mess.

Me: Oh crap. Was it all over the kitchen?

Kay: Well….no….not exactly. He got into the bathroom trash.

Me: Oh shit. How do you know it was Jack and not Cooper?

Kay: Well….he met me at the door this morning with a used maxi-pad in his mouth!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Get it out!!

Womanizer Woman-Womanizer, You're a womanizer, Oh Womanizer, Oh You're a Womanizer Baby
You You You Are
You You You Are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer

Monday, January 19, 2009

Maybe no one will notice.

Let’s pretend that I didn’t take a 2 ½ month break from blogging. Cool? There were 4 weeks of house arrest (boring), 32 hours of contractions (awful), the birth of a baby (painful) , and now 12 weeks of maternity leave (overwhelming, exhausting, stressful, hard, and wonderful, all at the same time).

But now I’m back. However, I can’t promise good material until March. That’s when I go back to work and life becomes a bit more exciting, meaning normal. Meaning ADULT CONVERSATION. My life isn’t very thrilling at the moment…sleepless nights, days without bathing, dirty diapers, the never-ending pile of laundry that doesn’t get folded, and lots of pumping. Lots and lots of pumping.

It’s hard to believe, but Grafton is already 7 weeks old on Wednesday. Time has flown by. I only have 5 weeks of maternity leave left and I’m praying that things become a bit easier before I head back to work. If they don’t, I’ll be that lady at the office that shows up late every morning covered in spit up and the unidentifiable baby shit on her shirt. I’ll be the lady with piles of coffee mugs on her desk that never get washed and start to get moldy. The lady who wears the same ugly crap every week and has the oh-so-lovely mom butt, because it’s “easy” and “comfortable.” I used to roll my eyes at “that lady” but now I see how easy it is to become her. I’ve already done a few things to avoid it at all costs. For one, I cut all of my hair off. A little drastic, but completely necessary. And no…it is NOT a mom-bob. I like to think of it as a sexy mom cut. Maybe even a MILF-do. I have also saved all of my gift cards from Christmas for a big fat shopping spree right before I go back to work. On February 25th, the sweats go in the trash and the fabulous comes out!

Oh, and I guess you probably want to see pictures of the kid on occasion. I’ll be posting those too, but along with avoiding That Lady, I’m also going to try to avoid turning PMB into Grafton’s Personal Website. Sometimes, he’s just too damn cute though. So deal with it.