Thursday, February 28, 2008

Time check

It has been exactly 6 months since we moved out of our cute little house on Church Street. 6 MONTHS. That’s 182 days. 4,368 hours. 262,080 minutes! 262,080 minutes of my precious life that I have been without a home. I know, I know, there are millions of people in the world that are less fortunate than me, who are homeless and don’t have anything to eat. Today, I don’t care. Today is about ME, and today I am MAD.

I had my first breakdown at work today. Work is the WORST place to have a breakdown, especially for a woman. It makes you look weak and fragile and unstable, not to mention a bit crazy. Thankfully, no one saw me. It is all Frank’s fault. Frank and the trim carpenter. Excuse me, Frank and the IDIOT trim carpenter who’s trying to take advantage of us!! Little does he know that I am on to him. I’m smarter than you think buddy. You think I’m making your life miserable now? Just wait until tomorrow when you show up at my house to work and I tell you that you are FIRED.

Last week, there was a light at the end of the tunnel…the first light that we have seen in 6 months. Today, it’s dim. And if I follow Will’s belief that tomorrow will only be worse, the light will be out. DARKNESS. I can’t handle the darkness. It makes me MAD. Mad and weak and fragile and unstable and a bit crazy. I’m not any fun to be around. I don’t even like hanging out with me. And that, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, is simply unacceptable.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Who's on First?

This is an actual conversation that took place at my house between myself, Jose the painter, and my friend, Supawn:

MIMI: Jose, because you paint houses for a LIVING, and because you probably paint 350 out of 365 days a year, I thought I’d ask your opinion on paint finishes, and what you see DAY IN AND DAY OUT, seeing as you are the professional.


MIMI: What sheen of paint do most people use on their walls? Flat or Satin?

JOSE (in a thick accent that makes me question if he truly understands what I’m saying): Whatever you wish.

MIMI: But what do you normally paint? What’s the norm?

JOSE: Whatever you wish. You like flat, I paint flat. You like satin, I paint satin.

MIMI: But what do most people get?

JOSE: Whatever you want me to get.

MIMI: Okay, you aren’t helping me much. What about kitchen cabinets and trim. Do most people use Satin or Semi-gloss?

JOSE: Whatever you wish.

MIMI: But does one look better than the other on cabinets and trim? What do you normally paint on cabinets?

JOSE: Whatever you wish. You like satin, I paint satin. You like semi-gloss, I paint semi-gloss.

(In walks my friend, Supawn)

MIMI: Hey Supawn, you just painted the interior of your house and should be able to help me out. What paint sheen are your walls?

SUPAWN: They aren’t shiny at all. They are semi-gloss.

MIMI: You mean they are flat?

SUPAWN: Right. They are satin.

MIMI: If they aren’t shiny, then they are flat.

SUPAWN: Right (looking at my paint swatches which are SATIN). They are just like this. FLAT.

MIMI: Whatever. So, what is your trim? Is it shiny?

SUPAWN: Yes, it’s shiny. I think it’s flat.


JOSE: You like flat, I paint flat.

MIMI: I think I need to call my mom.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Eat your heart out, Martha!

During this remodel, I have had to give up 2 closets. Not that those 2 closets held anything but crap, but still, TWO CLOSETS. Will's happy about it. The fewer closets we have, the less crap we should own. He's all about minimalism. I don't know where the two of us came from, because our mother's are both pack rats. And we are all about throwing things away. My mom gets mad when I go home to visit and I want to throw away her precious house full of post-it-notes. And Will's mom just laughs when I hand her articles on purging or organizing or letting go. I just don't see why she thinks it's so funny.

We have a space underneath our stairwell that would be the perfect closet. But I don't want a closet that would just be full of junk. Just looking at the space gives me anxiety. I also don't want another door in the hallway. So, I came up with this idea.

GENIUS! This is where I'll house my obsession....ribbons, gift bags, fabric, stationary, wrapping paper, tags...basically anything crafty. Martha Stewart would be SO JEALOUS.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Will's Two Cents

by Will Burleson

10. My Wife's blog (If I ever forget and need a reminder of all the pain and suffering I can always visit "Pimp my Bungalow", a constant reminder of the ongoing hell that is my life).

9. My Contractor, Frank (Or as I like to call him "Mr. Idle")

8. My new superintendent, Johnny (seriously, he is the reason I will move back in before the end of the decade. Who needs Brad Pitt. Johnny is my man crush).

Etiquette Question: If your contractor should stay on schedule, or in our case, hit one date during the entire remodel, should you send him a gift basket or would a thank you card suffice?

7. Additional work prices (Apparently our contractors found the "Screw the Burleson's" button on their calculators).

6. Living with my parents (The only thing that would be cooler is if they had a basement so when people asked me where we live I could say "In my mom's basement").

5. Stopping by the house in the middle of the day (I love the sound of a half finished house when no one is working, like nails on a chalkboard).

4. The original schedule with a move-in date of January 2nd (No matter how bad my day has been it always makes me laugh. I often read it right after I visit "Pimp my Bungalow").

3.Opening the Daily Newspaper (I stare at the date while counting the number of days I have withstood hell on earth).

2. Testing my sanity everyday (I love waking up in the morning and wondering if this will be the day that I snap and kill Mr. Idle, aka Frank).

Random question: Has anyone studied the Mayan calander? If you have, does 7 of their months equal 4 of ours? This could explain the reason "Mr. Idle" and I have yet to get on the same page.

1. Learning to live for today (no matter how bad it is, tomorrow will be worse).

Progress (noun): Movement, as toward a goal; advance.

Church Street has seen more action in the last week than it has in 80 years!

We have paint colors picked out:

We have sheetrock:

We have a big fat mess:

We have cabinets:

And we have a mini storage unit in our front yard that has already caused problems with the city. Apparently, it's blocking the line of sight from the stop sign on 15th street. WHO CARES. We have progress at the Burleson's. PRO-GRESS. And that's what matters.