Who's on First?

This is an actual conversation that took place at my house between myself, Jose the painter, and my friend, Supawn:



MIMI: Jose, because you paint houses for a LIVING, and because you probably paint 350 out of 365 days a year, I thought I’d ask your opinion on paint finishes, and what you see DAY IN AND DAY OUT, seeing as you are the professional.

JOSE: Si.

MIMI: What sheen of paint do most people use on their walls? Flat or Satin?

JOSE (in a thick accent that makes me question if he truly understands what I’m saying): Whatever you wish.

MIMI: But what do you normally paint? What’s the norm?

JOSE: Whatever you wish. You like flat, I paint flat. You like satin, I paint satin.

MIMI: But what do most people get?

JOSE: Whatever you want me to get.

MIMI: Okay, you aren’t helping me much. What about kitchen cabinets and trim. Do most people use Satin or Semi-gloss?

JOSE: Whatever you wish.

MIMI: But does one look better than the other on cabinets and trim? What do you normally paint on cabinets?

JOSE: Whatever you wish. You like satin, I paint satin. You like semi-gloss, I paint semi-gloss.

(In walks my friend, Supawn)

MIMI: Hey Supawn, you just painted the interior of your house and should be able to help me out. What paint sheen are your walls?

SUPAWN: They aren’t shiny at all. They are semi-gloss.

MIMI: You mean they are flat?

SUPAWN: Right. They are satin.

MIMI: If they aren’t shiny, then they are flat.

SUPAWN: Right (looking at my paint swatches which are SATIN). They are just like this. FLAT.

MIMI: Whatever. So, what is your trim? Is it shiny?

SUPAWN: Yes, it’s shiny. I think it’s flat.

MIMI: WHAT???

JOSE: You like flat, I paint flat.

MIMI: I think I need to call my mom.