This is an actual conversation that took place at my house between myself, Jose the painter, and my friend, Supawn:
MIMI: Jose, because you paint houses for a LIVING, and because you probably paint 350 out of 365 days a year, I thought I’d ask your opinion on paint finishes, and what you see DAY IN AND DAY OUT, seeing as you are the professional.
MIMI: What sheen of paint do most people use on their walls? Flat or Satin?
JOSE (in a thick accent that makes me question if he truly understands what I’m saying): Whatever you wish.
MIMI: But what do you normally paint? What’s the norm?
JOSE: Whatever you wish. You like flat, I paint flat. You like satin, I paint satin.
MIMI: But what do most people get?
JOSE: Whatever you want me to get.
MIMI: Okay, you aren’t helping me much. What about kitchen cabinets and trim. Do most people use Satin or Semi-gloss?
JOSE: Whatever you wish.
MIMI: But does one look better than the other on cabinets and trim? What do you normally paint on cabinets?
JOSE: Whatever you wish. You like satin, I paint satin. You like semi-gloss, I paint semi-gloss.
(In walks my friend, Supawn)
MIMI: Hey Supawn, you just painted the interior of your house and should be able to help me out. What paint sheen are your walls?
SUPAWN: They aren’t shiny at all. They are semi-gloss.
MIMI: You mean they are flat?
SUPAWN: Right. They are satin.
MIMI: If they aren’t shiny, then they are flat.
SUPAWN: Right (looking at my paint swatches which are SATIN). They are just like this. FLAT.
MIMI: Whatever. So, what is your trim? Is it shiny?
SUPAWN: Yes, it’s shiny. I think it’s flat.
JOSE: You like flat, I paint flat.
MIMI: I think I need to call my mom.