Tuesday, October 21, 2008

So, I lied...What's the big deal?

My recent conversation with Mrs. Republican-of-the-Year isn’t the only political post you’ll see here at PMB. This one was too good not to pull out of the vault. The day after the election in 2004, I received this list from Will in my email. And considering that this year’s election is FAR more interesting and controversial than Bush and Kerry, I can only expect to see great things from Will on November 4, 2008.

Reasons why John Kerry lost the election (and a few questions):

1. California and New York only get 86 combined electoral votes (thank God)
2. In Kerry's last flip-flop before the election, he decided to support Bush
3. He's a DEMOCRAT
4. The American public is smarter than I thought (this does not include anyone over the Mason-Dixon line or in California)

Question #1
If John Kerry poops in Ohio does George Bush still wear a cowboy hat?

5. P-Diddy forgot to tell everyone that election day was Nov. 2nd
6. Not enough hippies in Austin to win Texas for Kerry

Question #2
If you wait two weeks to lose do you still lose?

7. His major supporters were Ben Affleck and Roger Moore (Lord, those guys suck)

Question #3
If you don't find any WMD's, but you find a bastard in a spider-hole, do you still win?

8. Refer to reason #3 once more
9. The Marketing Department @ Dell is only .0000000000000000001% of the population (again, we must thank God)
10. Marrying a billionaire doesn't qualify you for shit (except a good loan rate)
11. In a recent poll, people in Texas, Florida, and Ohio were found to be the most intelligent
12. A red-neck from Texas always kicks a Yankee's ass (The Civil War not included)

Question#4
If you made a noose out of hemp, and hung Bill Clinton with it, would Republicans support the legalization of marijuana?

13. I'm giving all credit to the fine citizens of Mississippi, and their 6 electoral votes

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Question # 3

If John Kerry had won, would we be in this expanse of a financial crisis; would we still be shooting ourselves in the foot in Iraq and have the rest of the free world despising us to the core?

Swift boat that. And enjoy the taste of your Cole Hann loafers (open mouth, insert foot) on November 5th when you wake up to a African-American as president-elect and a Democratic majority in both the House and Senate.

Anonymous said...

And I would take ben Affleck and Roger Moore as supporters anyday over Ted Nugent.

Anonymous said...

And as far as intelligence goes, is it any wonder than an estimated 75-90 percent of higher education instructors at our colleges and universities are Democrats?

Beth said...

OK, anonymous....it's you damn democrats who started the financial crisis. Google Jimmy Carter and the Community Reinvestment Act. And Bill Clinton pressuring banks to make loans to people who had bad credit history. You wanted every person who really couldn't afford to buy a home THINK that they deserved one. Duh. Where are those people now? Not in those big houses, that's for sure. And for shooting ourselves in the foot in Iraq, ask an Iraqi what life without Saddam is like. Ask someone in uniform who is over in Iraq working to give those people some sense of FREEDOM. And as for "academia" being democrats, it's probably because they think they deserve more money for what they do. PLEASE do not think that all college instructors are more intelligent than the rest of us. They chose that profession.
I don't know if you are a friend of Pimp My Bungalow, but comments like that are not made by friends.
I'm not ashamed to sign my name.

Anonymous said...

Not so fast. The current financial crisis is the result of a "laissez faire et laissez passer" philosophy towards economics with the deregulation of industry and corporate concerns. It came to a head with Reagan and his policies as Governor of California, which he began to have implemented during his admininstration in the 80's and peaked when the Republican's had control of congress in the 1990's.

Back in 1933, following the stock-market crash, Congress enacted the Glass-Steagall Act, which separated the functions of commercial banks from those of stockbrokerage houses and regulated the way banks could make loans. From then on, the government limited the banks in making mortgage loans. It was always the economic philosophy of Republicans in Congress, however, to oppose all governmental regulations and to try to abolish the regulations governing banks and brokerages. Among the Republican senators in the 1990s who fiercely opposed any regulation of banks and financial institutions was Phil Gramm of Texas. Gramm, who has always been a close ally of John McCain, is now McCain’s chief financial advisor and co-chair of his campaign. Gramm is being spoken of by the McCain campaign as a top candidate for Treasury Secretary.

In the 1990s, after the Republicans took control of Congress, Phil Gramm was able to pass the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act which largely deregulated the banking industry and allowed banks to merge with securities firms. John McCain strongly supported and voted for the bill. After that, Gramm slipped an amendment into an omnibus appropriations bill which deregulated the trading of financial instruments and allowed banks and brokers to trade mortgages as if they were stocks and bonds. This opened up the floodgates to massive trading of sub-prime mortgages.

Gramm later left the senate for a top position with UBS, a giant international financial firm which owns banks and investment firms such as PaineWebber. At UBS, Gramm lobbied Congress, the Federal Reserve Bank, and the Treasury Department on behalf of the banks. He sought to have Congress pass a law designed to forbid states from enforcing stronger laws against predatory lending. **As a result of Gramm’s efforts, the law forbidding state regulation of banks was passed, and lenders were free to practice predatory lending. Sub-prime mortgages became routine, and the trading of sub-prime mortgages in bulk became a widespread practice on Wall Street.** When millions of people defaulted on those mortgages, the economy went into a tailspin.

Now John McCain, one who deregulated the banks and brokerages and enabled this disaster to happen, is running for President. Without any trace of irony, this Republican is shouting out against the lack of bank regulation! This Republican is talking about putting the chief congressional deregulator of banks, Phil Gramm, into the Cabinet as Treasury Secretary. We are being asked to forget about the perennial Republican opposition to bank regulation and to forget about McCain’s role as a deregulator. We are asked to forget that Phil Gramm and other McCain advisors have been powerful lobbyists for the banking industry.

The mortgage crisis was simply a symptom of a larger problem.

The U.S. economic and financial system is undergoing a very challenging period of adjustment, and we are likely to be living with a high degree of uncertainty for some period of time about the ultimate magnitude and duration of the slowdown underway. But it is important to recognize that we have already seen a lot of adjustment. Prices and risk premia in many markets already reflect a much more sober and cautious view of the world than they did a year ago. And the degree of stress on markets that we have seen over the past six months is due in part to the sheer magnitude and speed of that adjustment to a more cautious view of the future.

The United States, the world economy, and the financial system as a whole, are more resilient, than they were on the eve of previous downturns. The improvements in productivity growth in the United States of the past decade have been followed by significant improvements in potential growth and wealth accumulation in many other countries. The scale of investable assets around the globe is very substantial, and this will be an important source of demand for risk assets. The improvements in monetary policy credibility and in financial strength developed over the past few decades mean that policy around the world has more room to adjust to deal with the challenge in the present environment.

Nevertheless, the challenges that remain are substantial. The speed and agility with which public policy makers and private financial institutions respond to the continuing pressures in a rapidly evolving environment will determine how quickly and how smoothly market conditions return to normal—and how rapidly the risks to the economic outlook are mitigated. And I for one, do not want to see the worst of the Keating Five as president and Phil Gramm in his cabinet as our response to this crisis is ascertained.

Anonymous said...

If you really spend the time to right that you need to get a job or spend more time with your family....Copy and Paste anyone.

Anonymous said...

I'm done. Evidently the other "anonymous" cannot participate in a common dialogue without resorting to childish insults.

And as far as my occupation goes, I am very gainfully employed, thank you-- I have a lucrative career as a predatory lender. And my relationship with family is very healthy. After giving thanks to Allah, we spend a great deal of time reading the Communist Manifesto, holding hands before consume our dinner, during which the conversation surrounds what a great job the Democrats are doing cloaking our subtle move to a Marxist Oligarchy and One World Government under the Eurodollar as an Economic Stimulus Package, complete with 3.5 million in earmarks for Predatory Lenders like myself to be afforded custom tailoring by Brooks Brothers.

Emily said...

Dear Anonymous @ 7:38,

I believe you meant "write" instead of "right." My Democratic college teacher taught me that.


Dear Anonymous @ 8:31,

I agree with your comment regarding 'childish insults' and might further add that they simply are not necessary. Surely you aren't the same person who posted first comment with the 'Cole-Hann-foot-in-mouth' commentary? Just checking.



Dear Mimi,

Looking forward to your continued list in the "Pet Peeves and Other Things that Annoy Me" series! Might your next post be titled, "Can Open; Worms Everywhere"

Anonymous said...

Before this gets out of hand--

At the end of the day, let's just all be glad we're in this country and can post these ideas without them being censored and without fear of being reprimanded legally for our beliefs. I am sure we can all agree on that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must catch a flight to Heathrow, as I am going on an excursion hunting partridge at Plumber Manor in Dorset with some colleagues from AIG.

brobek said...

wow! Mr. Anonymous just served all of you......that guy knows his shit! That was quality entertainment.