Thursday, October 23, 2008

A Post from Papa PMB

A few months ago my wife decided to make a list of 100 things that you didn’t know about her or something like that. So I have decided to respond to Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous by making my own list of facts, thoughts and some random questions. Most of us will find this amusing, not unlike the email I sent to my wife back in 2004. Others will go get a book written by a Democrat and use it to seem intelligent. I don’t care. I don’t usually listen to anyone that is fanatical about any subject because they can’t and won’t see the other side of the argument. But here are 50 things I want to say. To my Democratic friends - don’t take this too seriously. You know I love you both. Now to the list…

1. College professors were Democrats before they were college professors. It’s a dream job for any liberal….a little work for decent pay. And I quote, “People that can’t do, teach.”
2. When did Socialist and Democrat become the same thing?
3. I wonder if the Democratic Media would overlook John McCain for having a cocaine habit.
4. If the presidential nominees switched parties, the Democrat media would not be able to stop talking about the lack of experience on the Republican side.
5. Does the City Alderman answer to the dog catcher? Will someone clear that up for me?
6. If we elect a Democrat to the White House, what is CNBC going to bitch about all day?
7. Democrats don’t like Obama either.
8. Most elections come down to one thing. If the economy is good, the incumbent party usually wins. If not, then you get a Democrat.
9. 8 years ago, Democrats didn’t like Democrats
10. 4 years ago, apparently they still didn’t.
11. President Bush did not fly either one of those planes into the Towers. I know you heard that from your highly educated college professor, but he lied.
12. Greed, not “W,” is the reason we are in the financial mess we are in right now.
13. Is it easier to get a Cole Haan or Birkenstock into your mouth?
14. I mean really, Cole Haans?
15. If I didn’t have a job I would vote Democrat too.
16. I make sure to get up every morning and work hard because I know that somewhere there is a Democrat signing someone else up for welfare…Someone’s got to pay for it.
17. Michael Moors sucks.
18. Democrats have no sense of humor.
19. Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish…wait…why would he show up when the Democrats are down the street giving fish away?
20. Seriously, ya’ll need to lighten up.
21. I know we are in a state of Crisis right now, but nothing is going to change because you put a Democrat in the White House. I would be willing to bet that it gets worse. Obama scares the hell out of people with money.
22. Does Obama really believe all the crap that comes out of his mouth?
23. Would you put your child in a car with someone that had never driven before?
24. Why don’t we start punishing the kids in school for making A’s? Damn them for working hard and trying to better themselves.
25. When you’re sitting around the coffee-shop bashing “W,” does it make you feel better about yourself?
26. If a Democrat had been elected in 2000, would that have made it all right to go to war?
27. To put out the fire it takes more than screaming at the water….think about it….
28. I hate hippies.
29. Are these two the best America has to offer? What about all those college professors that are so well educated?
30. Being lazy doesn’t entitle you to anything but getting a check from the government.
31. Cole Haans??? I stopped wearing those months ago, along with my braided belt, tight rolled Guess Jeans, and Ray Bans. Hold on a sec…I forgot to lock my BMW.
32. “W” the movie must really suck. Democrats don’t even like it.
33. My child’s initials could possibly be GWB. I think we should call him “W.”
34. I take that back. The kids at school would blame him for everything.
35. I wish everyone still gave the President respect. Not because they agree with him, but because he is the President. Those were the days, or so I’m told.
36. I wish there was a TV channel that was not bias one way or the other. I just want the facts. I don’t need your opinion.
37. Damn those smart kids. You know what we should do is give them more homework than the other kids and see if they can still keep up.
38. If you are ever in question about something, say it out load. Most of the time, if it sounds wrong, it is.
39. I hate politicians.
40. I am tired of Al Sharpton and his entire crew. Stop showing up, demanding things, jumping up and down and leaving right after the cameras are gone. You take the attention away from the problem and put it on yourself.
41. Obama will be the next president. My glass is half full. At least it’s not Hilary.
42. I’m not always right, but my wife is.
43. The only thing she doesn’t know is that she doesn’t know everything.
44. No really, if she doesn’t know the answer she makes it up.
45. I think that people forget why they support the party they choose to support. It’s all about winning, not what is best for the country.
46. Obama can’t be that smart. He is going to raise taxes on himself. No rational person would ever do that.
47. I wish Howard Dean had run again. “We’re gonna go to Texas, and Washington, and we’re gonna go to Ohio………YEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!!”
48. Did that guy end up killing a bunch of people? He seemed a little crazy.
49. I love that we can agree to disagree.
50. I can’t get over the Cole Hans. Really? Cole Hans?

By the way I don’t have an editor or the time to proofread, so don’t send in your comments about my grammar or spelling. Save them. They would only fall on deaf ears.


Anonymous said...

Papa PMB is awesome. That was the funniest thing I have ever read. Mimi you are one lucky lady. I just can't get over how funny that was.

Papa PMB

Anonymous said...

I probably shouldn't have signed my name.

Beth said...

Go Papa Go!

Julie said...

Papa PMB IS awesome! Good stuff! And I couldn't agree more with you on #35. It's very sad. But I'm sure that other party will expect nothing but respect for their guy if he gets elected. I love double standards.

GayeGaye said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
brobek said...

why did i read this? arrrggghhhh! doesnt the status quo have a 21% approval rating? so does that make 79% of the country "democrat"? just a thought. whyowhyowhyowhyowhyowhy?