Friday, October 10, 2008

From the Vault

I was looking through old emails and found this one from Will in August of 2004....a few months after we adopted Jack. A few months after the little monster entered our house, turned our world upside down, and made our lives a living hell. In the first month that we had him, Cooper's main goal was to Tonya Harding his ass. He didn't care that we brought home a dog with heartworms so bad that he was on tranquilizers. Cooper wanted him out and was going to do everything in his power to get his way. In a matter of weeks, we had a stack of vet bills over $2,000. The fighting was so bad that I was crying on a daily basis. A fight would break out and I would cry. Will threatened to get rid of him, and I would cry. Cooper would look at Jack wrong, and I would cry.

Eventually, we hired a pet psychiatrist to come in and tell us what to do. Just another few hundred dollars added to the stack. And it wasn't like this lady was telling me anything new. I had heard it all before.....from Will. Only, why would you want to listen to your husband when you can pay someone to tell you the same thing?

So, she told us some garbage about pack order, feeding time, and blah, blah, blah....and things slowly started to get a little better around here.

Well, one day while I was at work, I got a call from Will. He had taken Jack in the car with him on a few errands and was at the gas station. When he got out of the car to pump the gas, Jack hit the lock button and locked him out....with the car running. Later that afternoon, I received this email:

FOR SALE: One Jack Russell Terrier

This Dog is a charmer. He loves to run, so you will have to keep your doors and gates locked at all times. Another good thing about this dog is that he has heartworms (so you will need a steady job). In his spare time he loves to pick fights with larger dogs and piss on your furniture. I'm telling you that this dog is a keeper. But that's not all, because this morning I discovered a new talent. He is a master at locking a car door. He hasn't yet mastered the art of unlocking, but with a little time and effort I'm sure he could figure it out. I know what you are thinking...How much would a dog of this quality cost? Well today is your lucky day. Because I will actually pay you to come pick him up. My number is 1-800-IH8-DOGS.

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