I’ve become a runner. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? It’s shocking to most people. It’s even more shocking to me. I still can’t believe I ran a ½ marathon in November. I’m the girl that hated running. With. A. Passion. When I first started, all I could think about while I was running was running. I can hear myself breathing, my legs are aching, I can’t swallow, why is my knee hurting, I need to spit, where is the water fountain, how much longer, oh my God I am dying, I am dying, I am dying. I couldn’t think about normal things, like what I was going to do that day, what’s on my grocery list, and how I was going to tackle the upstairs closet. Nope, just how miserable I was, which makes you even more miserable.
Then, something weird happened. I started thinking about other things. Normally this is a good thing, but I have developed Runners ADD. Maybe it’s even ADHD. And now the random thoughts that go through my head make me crazy. They almost make my heart beat faster, which isn’t good. Sometimes I think my head is going to explode.
1. Did I make the right decision by cutting my bangs? Why is this always so hard for me…bangs, no bangs, bangs, no bangs. The story of my life. Do I look cute with bangs? Or do I look young? Or is it both, because if it’s both, I’ll take that and keep the bangs.
2. Holy shit, what am I going to do if that big ass Rottweiler jumps the fence and kills me. Is Lance (the guy behind me) going to save me or run the other way? Is Donna (Lance’s wife in front of me) going to hear me screaming? I am going to be on the news tonight for dying from a dog attack in the barrio. Damn Nicole for not being here today. She could use her new found dog whispering skills and save me. I need to run faster.
3. I think I should go into the office today. Should I? I am presenting in a meeting so I need to be there. Damn, I’m going to have to get dressed. Can I wear my boots again, or did I wear them too much last week? What did I wear last week. Oh wait, I only went to the office twice, so I should be good.
4. How is it that I get up every morning at 5:15am to run and I can’t get my ass to work on time? I’m going to be on time today. I’m going to be on time today. (I wasn’t)
5. Where am I going to find orange velvet fabric that I can afford?
6. Wow, I am the shortest person in the Fab 5. That never happens. I’m usually not even in the middle. Hmmm….it’s kind of nice to be short for once. Well, maybe not. What’s better, shorter and more squatty, or taller and beastly? I need to run faster so I don’t feel squatty or beastly.
7. Oh, good song. I need to run faster.
8. I need to remember to download Empire of the Sun. I’m totally going to forget. I’m going to forget. How am I going to make myself remember?
9. Where am I going to find orange velvet fabric that I can afford? Seriously.
10. I need to run faster.
That was just the first ¼ of a mile this morning. I had 3.75 more miles of this, but I won’t bore you with details. Most of it was about the stupid orange velvet fabric. And telling myself to run faster, which never happens.