Monday, February 14, 2011

Thank you, DVR.

I feel the need to review the Grammy's.  If for no other reason than the fact that it was a trainwreck.  You know me, I love a good trainwreck. 

And no, I'm not going to comment on Barbara Streisand.  I don't like her.  At one point in my life, I was told I looked like her.  More specifically, I think they said "you have her nose."  I'm not sure, because at that point, I was already hyterically crying and I couldn't hear what else was coming out of their mouth.  And just for that, ole Barb went into the small little black place in my heart with other people I don't like.  Like Andie McDowell

My top 10 Grammy thoughts of 2011:

1.  There was no need for the hour long Aretha Franklin montage.  Snooze fest.  The best part about it was when Christina fell at the end.  I thought, surely she is going to knock it out of the park, seeing as she needed to make up for the Superbowl fiasco.  But nope, the song ends and she busts her ass.  HILARIOUS!  We even rewound it to watch it again.  My sister said she must have been tripped by the ghost of Francis Scott Key.  Love it.

2.  Aretha needs to fire her stylist.  Honey, you are too old and big for a white strapless dress.  End of story.

3.  We get it Lady Gaga.  You're weird.  I could care less that you arrived in an egg.  I could care less that you hatched on stage and had some freaky horns coming out of your head and shoulders.  But you are going to get up there and thank Whitney Houston??  Miss Crack Head??  Seriously?? 

4.  I like Justin Beiber.  I'm not scared to admit it.  But the performance with Usher was a cluster.  Now, I felt bad for Usher when he lost his sunglasses, because I don' think he knows how to function without them. And I liked watching the Fresh Prince have a Proud Papa moment.  But the rest was just bad.  HOWEVER.  Did anyone see the dancer do a flip on the stage and get hurt?  I rewound it to watch again.  It was great.  Clearly, I receive great joy in watching other people fall.    Don't judge.

5.  Cee Low Green and Gwenyth Paltrow was just strange.  And then they threw the Muppets into the mix.  I'm just confused about the entire thing.  I did find out that she sang that song on Glee, but that doesn't make it any better.  Confused.

6.  I realize that Ricky Martin came out of the closet this year, and I'm sure he feels free to be who he is in front of the entire world, but Ricky, put the silver pants back in the closet.  Or give them to Noel.  I'm sure he would love you forever. 

7.  John Mayer is starting to look like Johnny Depp.  Did anyone else think this?  It's not necessarily a bad thing though.  I'd let them eat crackers in my bed anyday. 

8.  I could say a million things about Jenny from the Block and her husband, or whatever he is.  But I won't.  I'm not even going to go there, because I would just look like a bad, bad person (I know you are all thinking the same things, too).  I'll just say this:  Mr and Mrs Lopez are not funny.

9.  Who the Hell is Esperanza Spalding?

10.  Mumford and Sons and The Avett Brothers.  Hands down, the BEST part of the show.  And then Bob Dylan took the stage and ruined it. 


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