Somebody take the cake away from the fat kid

I have exploded over the past few weeks. I have gone from cute and pregnant to “Can somebody please help me get dressed in the morning because I can’t get my pants on.” And the funny thing is, I’ve been put on “bed rest” because my uterus is measuring small. My doctor is worried that Goose isn’t growing at the rate that he’s supposed to. Which, frankly, I think is crazy. I mean look at me! She wants me to focus all of my energy on the baby instead of work, which I told her was completely ridiculous and impossible. I had to remind her that I work at Dell. So, I’ve agreed to work from home for the next four weeks. But not in bed. I have an ultrasound next week to check on him, so I’ll keep everyone updated.

Please do not show up at my house unannounced. It might be days since I’ve had a shower, and I wouldn’t want you to see me in that condition. It could get scary.