New kid in town

Move over “shitmydadsays,” because here comes “didthatreallyjustcomeoutofmy13yearoldnephewsmouth?”


“She sucks. Have you seen her table decorations?”

-Walker Floyd, age 13

The Dreaded List

I always seem to be 5 minutes behind on blogging. I realize it is already January 7th, but it’s never too late to make a New Year’s resolution list. And to motivate me to actually make-good on my list this year, I’m blogging about it. Maybe that will help? Some are new resolutions, and others are carry-overs from last year. And the year before, and the year before.

1. Feed the Pig.
2. Organize my life. I am not unorganized, but there are a few aspects of my life that need help, like my home filing system. This was overly apparent when my dad got a call from his 32 year old daughter because she couldn’t find her birth certificate. So he had to go to the safety deposit box in Tennessee, get the 2nd original copy, and fedex it to me in Texas. Completely uncalled for, only because I know my birth certificate is somewhere in my house.
3. Purchase only clothing that I love, to build a wardrobe of classics. Stop buying bargains on a whim that I’m completely eh about in a month.
4. Reduce the fast food consumption. I haven’t had a burger in 6 months, but damn, I love French fries and a diet coke fountain drink.
5. Blog more.

Happy 2010!! I’ll leave you with the annual Webb Family Christmas picture. Not too shabby!

Darling, let’s have tea.

My parents have been blessed with two grandchildren with very interesting names, and every time you say Grafton and Thatcher together in the same sentence, something compels you to break out the horrible English accent with a bit of Julia Childs thrown in. You just can’t help yourself. It makes you want to drink tea.

My sister and Thatcher came to visit back in October (I'm a little behind), and there’s nothing English and proper about these two kids. Although, I will say that Thatcher can throw down some food like Julia Childs. Homegirl can eat.

Happy Thanksgiving

Why do we only have one official day each year to give Thanks? I guess it's the one day we all have an excuse to be sappy.

Today I am Thankful for:

1. My sweet boy who turns 1 next week. I'm a super proud Mama, even though he thinks my name is Dada.
2. My wonderful husband, who is slowly teaching me that life doesn't have to be one big routine, and it doesn't end after you have a kid.
3. Leftovers
4. DVR
5. Our wonderful next door neighbors
6. Angeline Pinot Noir (the flavor of the week)
7. Corn. Anything corn.
8. Naptime
9. Garnier Nutritioniste Daily anti-fatigue eye cream
10. FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Sorry Bert.

Do you have something in your life that makes you laugh every time you see it? No matter how much you think about it or look at it, you get the same amount of amusement from it? For me, it’s my neighbor Bert. Well, not actually Bert himself, but a picture of Bert that his wife blew up to 11x17 and posted on their fridge. And it never fails, every time I am over at their house, I look at the picture and laugh uncontrollably. Maybe it has something to do with the amount of wine I always consume while I’m there, but you have to admit, it’s pretty damn funny. There’s nothing better than a good laugh at the expense of someone else.

Thank you, ESPN.

The Story by Brandi Carlile is one of my all time favorite songs. And now it’s on ESPN in a Joe Paterno tribute commercial. Thank you Game Day, for tugging on my heartstrings while featuring an 81 year old man who’s about to keel over and die on the football field at any minute.

Make it go away!

I realize that you officially become a mom the minute you pop out a baby, but at what point do you become a mother? At what age do you become that woman, who points her finger and gives you “the look” and tells you things you don’t want to hear? The woman that everyone under the age of 25 rolls their eyes at?

I always thought it was later in life, when your kids were old enough to be taught a lesson. Like, one day, your kid wakes up and actually starts to take in what you are saying, and you can see that little brain processing the information.

I seem to be taking on “motherhood” way too early. And I’m fighting my best fight, but it’s not letting up.

Case in point:

I work with a young 25 year old. She’s cute and blonde, lives in downtown Austin, dates a hipster guy, and likes to partake in one too many adult beverages on the weekends. And maybe Tuesdays. Anyways, the point is, she’s fun. And last Monday, she comes into work and proceeds to tell me that she and her roommates got a trampoline.

I was appalled at what flew out of my mouth: “A TRAMPOLINE??? What if someone gets drunk, gets hurt, and tries to sue you???”

Whoa, back up. What did I just say? Because it sounded an awful lot like something that a mother would say. And I’m not a mother yet. I’m only 32 and my kid is only 10 months old. I’m the girl that would have too much to drink and think it’s a good idea to jump on the trampoline!! Well, maybe 2 years ago, I was that girl. But still.

Her response? “SHUT UP MOM!”