Make it go away!

I realize that you officially become a mom the minute you pop out a baby, but at what point do you become a mother? At what age do you become that woman, who points her finger and gives you “the look” and tells you things you don’t want to hear? The woman that everyone under the age of 25 rolls their eyes at?

I always thought it was later in life, when your kids were old enough to be taught a lesson. Like, one day, your kid wakes up and actually starts to take in what you are saying, and you can see that little brain processing the information.

I seem to be taking on “motherhood” way too early. And I’m fighting my best fight, but it’s not letting up.

Case in point:

I work with a young 25 year old. She’s cute and blonde, lives in downtown Austin, dates a hipster guy, and likes to partake in one too many adult beverages on the weekends. And maybe Tuesdays. Anyways, the point is, she’s fun. And last Monday, she comes into work and proceeds to tell me that she and her roommates got a trampoline.

I was appalled at what flew out of my mouth: “A TRAMPOLINE??? What if someone gets drunk, gets hurt, and tries to sue you???”

Whoa, back up. What did I just say? Because it sounded an awful lot like something that a mother would say. And I’m not a mother yet. I’m only 32 and my kid is only 10 months old. I’m the girl that would have too much to drink and think it’s a good idea to jump on the trampoline!! Well, maybe 2 years ago, I was that girl. But still.

Her response? “SHUT UP MOM!”

If I blog it, he will come.

KEVIN COSTNER, KEVIN COSTNER, KEVIN COSTNER!!

What if the Voice calls while you're gone?

You’d be surprised how many blog entries I come up with in my head that never make it onto paper….or computer screens. And they come at the most random times. In the checkout line at Golden Chick, anxiously awaiting my chicken salad sandwich that is TO DIE FOR. Or changing G’s diaper, and in the midst of applying his prescription butt powder so that his rear-end doesn’t get “yeasty” (Yes, yeasty. I don’t make this stuff up.), AHA! a good idea pops into my head. Inspiration comes in all forms, folks.

And while I’m full of good ideas, GENIUS ideas actually, it means nothing if no one reads this thing. So, I’m channeling my 80’s Kevin Costner for a minute, and asking you all to do me a favor.

If you read this, please leave a comment. I don’t care what you say. It can even be mean. Just leave something. Say Hi. Tell me a funny joke. Anything.

If you’re lucky, more of my genius ideas will make it onto the web. If not, then well….the world is missing out. Big time.

OMG, this is so bananas...

We have this rule in our house that if you find money in the washer or dryer, it's yours to keep. I'm hoping that Will accidentally left $495 in his jeans so that I can get this handbag. It's not even a purse, people. Once you hit a certain level of fabulousness, it becomes a 'handbag.' As Rachel Zoe would say, it's so bananas.

shitmydadsays

This is just plain awesome. And I can't even get mad at this guy that he came up with this before I did. My dad would never say this shit.

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

July Love Story

A few of my favorite things in July:

:: Girls trip to Fredericksburg, TX.

:: This little dude.

:: My Pentax K20D SLR. Turns out, I'm holding it wrong. The only thing I learned in my free class from Precision Camera.

:: Augustana, Sweet and Low

Where's the beef?

I have decided that the easiest way to a healthier me is to slowly cut out everything from my diet that doesn't agree with me. One. At. A. Time. I tried to go cold turkey back in February of 2008 and it was horrible. Impossible. Painstakingly miserable.

The first to go is beef. Oh beef, how I love you. But, you've got to go. I guess the 974 Happy Meals that I ate during my pregnancy are no longer an option.

So far, it's been about 2 weeks and it's going okay. Well, except for the fact that I bought a pound of roast beef from the deli and had eaten 2 sandwiches before I realized I WAS EATING BEEF. Dumbass.